Zombie Survival: How To Kill A Zombie
93Zombie Kill Guide
Zombies are them troublesome dead walkers that just get in the way of a good night out, they either want to eat your brains or have a quick nibble on your nuts, they are usually slow creatures that are easy to outrun, but in high numbers and in confined spaces they can be fatal, this is a guide of sorts on how to kill a zombie, it is common sense people so in the event of a zombie holocaust it is advisable that you take the necessary precautions against these undead deadites.
First and foremost, when you shoot a gun try and aim for the head shot, because in too many films have I seen some rather dumb people just waste valuable ammo shooting the zombies shoulders and chest, one head shot seems to do it and if you can't shoot straight, it's best to go to a shooting range to practice your gun skills, because if you don't you will probably be that bad at shooting a gun, you will pop a cap in some poor bastards arse who may not be a zombie and that would be bad.
Sharpen them machetis up, so that when the time comes you can have yourselves a zombie decapitation spree in the local shopping mall whilst doing the shopping, could be a bit of entertainment, as severing the head from the body is also a way to go for killing a zombie, the brain seems to be the main force driving these deadly rotting creatures.
Other ways you may not have thought of:
Liquid nitrogen could be a good alternative when thrown on the head, be careful not to get any of it on your hands and genitals as they will be as cold as a snowmans balls, liquid nitrogen may not be a common substance so a bit of carefully controlled fire in a confined room could do the trick, as always though aim for the head, try and destroy that brain as they are really quite thick anyway - don't let Bub fool you by flicking through a book and loading a gun like in the original Day Of The Dead.
Knives and other stabbing weapons, aim for the brain, you could get to it through the eyes, the nose or the mouth or even the ears.
Warning If the zombies are the fast running kind that is actually quite disrepectful to classic zombies, then you may get eaten, so stock up on guns to take them all down with a head shot, you may want to do this sniper style from the roof of a building, particularly if you want to gain access to a casino or cinema for a little entertainment and popcorn.
Household Furniture and other stuff - Around the house there may be just the thing for killing a zombie right under your nose, so prepare in advance, a chair for instance can be broken and made into a weapon to fend of those dirty zombie ho's, or a glass vase smashed over the head may just dig in the zombies brain and make them die....yeahhh kill the zombies!!
There may be other inventive ways to kill zombies with grenades or by lighting your own farts on them, but whatever you choose, make it count, before they over run the world and form political parties of their own and run for president and prime minister of all countries and they make us pay taxes and make us watch reality TV....oh no I've just realized it's worse than I thought, they are already here....reality TV is at an all time high...we will become zombies soon....noooooooooooooooo!
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Zombie Killing
More Ways To Kill A Zombie
Zombies are horrible undead creatures and they should be punished for being so ugly looking, so with a few mentions in the comments below I am able to update this helpful guide on Zombie Killing and first things first go and buy a Chainsaw on Amazon below to really get the best killing tool for these zombie rotters.
Chainsaws are ideal for chopping the zombies head off, but be careful to have enough petrol in your chainsaw as running out of it just as an army of zombies are heading towards you is not a good sign....
Check out the chainsaws below and pick a good one....
Chainsaws To Decapitate Zombies Heads
 | Amazon Price: Too low to display List Price: $389.99 |
 | Amazon Price: Too low to display List Price: $489.95 |
Read A Well Thought Out Book....
A good book that I read awhile ago that sticks in my mind is this one which I reviewed World War Z which is a fictitious account of a zombie apocalypse and it gives a good account of what could happen and through this book you can work out what to do to survive when the zombies spread over the world.
Knowledge is power when it comes to zombies, so prepare with as much tactical information you can acquire by reading articles like this and books on the subject of zombie survival, it's not who you know it's what you know!
World War Z - A Great Book About A Fictional Account Of A Zombie War That First Broke Out In China Available On Amazon
 | Amazon Price: $6.99 List Price: $14.95 |
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How Would You Kill Zombies?Loading...
????. its called secret services
What do you mean zombies there are not real i mean nothing at night but where could zombies be? give me locations where and ill check with a cam. ill give credits to you
war wod you go to servive a zombie apoculips
Useful information here. Especially in Hull!
hey new zombie plan. aa 12 shotgun dragons breath shells in it
zobies aint real if dey wer u'd use 115 ray and thunder
You'd still get eaten though lol!
I would just shoot myself in the temple so i wont get bit and feel so much pain. This is a good idea cause a whole horde coming your way , pull out a pistol aim, and (boom) your not eaten.
Zombies were once human too, show them the mercy you'd show a lame horse. Shoot it in the head to end it's suffering. Yeah it's gonna be fun, but it's the Humane thing to do... Wipe em all out, and may God Have Mercy On their souls. LMAO
Great stuff! Appears we have a common interest... :)
plus dude us werewolves would have your back on full moon's so yeah have to watch out for some werewolves cause they will probably attack you so be prepared when this day comes
I think this game is so stupid cause i didn't play it so it's boring
okay here are tips. double tap. know your way out when in doubt and have lots and lots of ammo
plus screw guns fight fist cause melee is more effective. plus @waynet. no offense but have u even thought about berserker zombies
i would get an ak 47 and a desert eagle or a baseball to swing their head off and make a home runn.............. or just piss on their eyes it burns........hahaahah zombies arent real guys but i wish their was..
... just shoot a zombie with a spas 12 with slug shells so when ur in the trapped situation u can spray with the spas 12
... just shoot a zombie with spas 12 slug shells then the zombie is dead remember head and chest is where u would shoot a zombie
OK everyone listen to me. Zombies are just humans who have been subject to a virus that kills the brain then restarts it's basic motor functions. this virus uses the human body to feed itself and give it energy. to kill a zombie simply destroy the brain stem and cut off motor function. the virus will simply die. and when trying to slip past zombie hordes chop up zombie guts and act like a zombie. zombies sense you through sight,smell,and sound. so walk slowly, put zombie guts all over yourself, and try to avoid attention.remember to familiarize yourself with throwing knives and all of your basic crossbows,longbows,and other such long range weapons with REUSABLE ammo. If a zombie invasion does happen I will be in a place where the sun never sets. if you want to become part of the re birthing of the human race come find me. I will e waiting
Yes blunt objects could dispatch those Zombies much quicker...a couple of hours a day doing this and you'll pile up the bodies of Zombies.
Well, in a real life situation, a zombie randomnly breaks through your front door and you still sitting on the couch horrified. Best thing to do: Run in the kitchen and get a friggin' frying pan or something that is blunt to you can easily kill it with one swipe to the head. I never liked Machettes they take to much out of you to be honest, only rely on knives and sharp objects if the zombie has you pinned down trying to bite you, or you can rely on your strength if you are blessed. Best way to kill a zombie up close? Blunt weapons. Knifes are back ups. Guns are a so and so for me, I don't want all the zombies in the world coming to the noise of the gun, so guns are emergency uses: Blunt weapons are you primary, guns are your secondary, knives and sharp objects are you worst case senario weaps.
But if I would invent a anti-zombie-virus, how long time would it take before one of the zombies is dead?
i'm walker go away form meeeeee
There should be zombie animals as it just aint fair!
Now a zombie attack i should get ready with my weapons! -hahaha really nice hub made me laugh halfe on the way. Zombies are attacking.......runn.....!
i would get guns heaps i mean heaps of ammo for it than i would get an armored veircle like a tank or somthing and supplies and drive as for as far away i can than stay in the country for safty oh and is there such thing as zombie animal please tell me and save survivers as well
Wow i may kill a zombe now
Friday the 13th is coming three times this year. Beware the zombie apocalypse. Get your ammo now!
Namaste.
oh wow my zombie neighbor was just on my computer i think hes dead now what should i do if hes not dead ahhhhhhhhhhhhelp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
we zombies have fellings we just cooe to not use them you should consider us a firend if you have a problem with zomies cuz our faces or how we rose from the grave withflesh peeling from our faces hen u should look at urselves in the morning trust e we never sleep and oe time when i was in this one guys house trying ot get a snack he lookedso ugly that i spit himback out when i really thought about how he lookd when i ate him while he was sleeping
p.s i like brain jiuce with my macoroni n cheee
dont forget about bows and arrows cross bows work better .... the ammo is reusable so if u stick a zombie pick your arrow back up
Lol.....Yes them Government types always up to no good!
We might as well blame the Government on everything!
Down with the Zombies!!!!!!!
Zombies are Alive the government has them held underground thats how the outbreak will begin. then soon the zombies will evolve into quicker stealthier things its just a matter of time before someone slips up.
hey does a thirteen year old girl want to go out with me
If your in a Juggernaught suit and in a tank would that keep you safe or if your just in a juggernaut suit would they still be able to kill you???
What do you thers a zombie called a tank
i want to kill a zombie wher do i go show me amap
In the Nam, I shot plenty of zombies, you head shot them. Nowadays, these politicians we have can take a head shot and keep coming back stupid. Nukes might be the only way?
i woud use somthing quiet but painfull
is zombie flesh weak
i made a book about zombies with 372 pages and i maite make it into a proper book and show yous and also publish it b the way i am only 8
Wow I would use a pistie
Awsome I would use a pistil
I would run around it and use a machete to slash at its legs until successfully crippled then pour some lighter fluid as the zombie crawls toward me. I light a match and drop it near its head where I concentrated the lighter fluid. Eventually the fire will burn through the skull and kill the zombie.
Nice one! I'd go with the Molotov!
I would say to chain them up and then bring them to my fire place then get some kind of powerful fan and light them on fire either that or run them over with my lawn mower or chop them up with a weed whacker or get in my car and run them over with blood on the windshield
or a Molotov
Hooray!!!!!
you can use a baseball bat to crack there heads
Hey, dont burn 'em! The viral type zombies(disease or virus has reanimated them) will just get stronger, and the last thing you want is a flaming Spider(mutated zombie)
What if? what if? hells bells what if? ..........just shoot them!
How could you kill a zombie with a head-shot even know they really have a brain...Like on Black Ops 1st leval you just have to get a head shot then on many other levels its harder? What if it is harder in real life? They could run without a head....
Then haul out the Barbecue!
what if we have to eat zombies!!!!!!!!!?????
Luke Skywalker, I choose you!!!
I would hold a lightsaber, and spin around holding it in front of me. Or get a self charging generator, hook it up to a roundabout to make it spin and strap myself into the middle.
kickass 124563 you are so foolish go eat some brains you dont even know how to kill a zombie oh this page is on how to kill a zombie
they are so esay to kill love to eat them
thanks for the info we all just might need this one day!
That would be an ideal weapon as it wouldn't run out of bullets and you can quickly jab them through the brain and kill the zombies at a distance...ideally the Walking Dead comic book explains this method of killing a horde of Zombies through a large metal fence with gaps to poke the stick at the Zombies with a knife on the end.
Yo, waynet. If you could use any weapon against the zombies, what would it be? Mine would be a metal pole covered with blue duct tape. I could use some tools from my garage and duct tape to attach them to the pole and remove the tape when I want to change the desired weapon. And I'll have plenty of duct tape and tools at my disposal. They will probably be hardware tools, gardening tools, or maybe nail guns I could use too. And I'll even use rocks for throwing at them. What about you?
Well, her is a small list of weapons i have listed along with my emergency plan: Curtain rod, Spatula, Candle holder, Butcher knife, Rolling pin, Hatchet, Hammer, Pipe wrench, Baseball bat, Ice chipper, Saw blade frisby, Firearms(of course), some sort of wire as a last resort for decapitation, Sword( place to get one, mueseum, Rich family, Rich neighbors...), Machete, Crowbar, and a frying pan. Hope this helps you prepare for your zombie apoc!
1. 95% of zombies can be killed by decapitation, so aim your improvised, desperate weapon for it's head and neck.
2. Do not slip up! Somebody WILL get killed and the next person to see them will think "Oh. That's my friend. I'll just turn my back on him and OH GOODNESS WHY IS HE EATING MY BRAIN!"
3. Do NOT set them on fire! The only thing worse than undead hordes trying to eat your brains are undead hordes trying to eat your brains WHILE on fire!
EMERGENCY SUPPLIES:
FOOD
WATER
GUN
AMMO
A HECK OF A LOT OF AMMO!
Congratulations. You are now educated in the way of zombie hunting. Any questions? And remember not to die!
i have seen a "zombie" and there normal people
if zombies are people who have died and come back to life
theres quite a few of them
If you want to kill a zombie just shoot it in the head twice because the number 1 rule is double shot.
WHY BURN EM. they can't feel it what would it do exept burn the flesh and it wont burn through the skull and sever the brain so there is no point.
but.... if i were to kill a zombie i would just use a very heavy wieght and a very large drop!!!!
Lol with a gun it's like cod black ops
You just have to hit them in the head? I got a metal broomstick covered with blue duct tape. I can probably use it to hit plenty of them in their heads. Course I have hammers and knives so I can use them too. But I'd mostly rely on the broomstick.
this is so gay anyone that is smart would know that zombies are not real!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very entertaining hub. And by the way, World War Z was absolutely one of the best books i've ever read.
a crow bar and a cheese grater would make the best zombie fighting tool.
but i think that Thor's Mini gun would be boss
(Thor's mini gun is like Thor's hammer except that it has infinite Tracer rounds, it shoots 50000 rounds a minute!!)
THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HA HA HA
Zombie killing is fun with Thor's MiniGun!!
Fnord!
i would get a trained zombie and make it eat other zombies
i have every weapeon in the world so i will teach those zombies a lesson oh gosh a zombie stupid morons get loaded the zombie invasishon has started it amost ate me people every zombie created is in this brain eating group i live in alberta call the fbi or come here and help......................we have killed your friend he is now one of us and we are loaded perpare to die.bbbbbbbbrrrrrrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssssss
very entertaining. I think I would opt for a sword and a gun myself but than again who couldn't have some fun with a grenade or two?
yea, a headshot always works, but what if you shot it in the heart? if you are stuck with a semi-auto and 20 zombies, you dont have time to aim every time.
u know u could use a molotov and a base ball bat or a motorbike or a car but chainsaw no 2 heavy i think the best way 2 survie the zombie apocalips is 2 stay at a milatary base or a gun shop
lots of differnt ways to kill a zombie and some realply useful , i would try a toy hellicopter to distract the zombie and try make it dizzy , the go full speed into its head to knock it out !! thats my idea lol but these idea's arre good to .
get all supplies and a gun....that's way zombie will hard to kill us..if they were so many..
hi my name is belphegor but people just say bael you may not believe me but im the 5th prince of hell the one who controls the sin vanity and sloth and i would just like to say i love the hubpage and i dont love to many things
thx when we get taken over i know what to do
How to kill a zombie wel it would depend is it The Apocalyps or joust a small group are they the military kind or the run of the mill cuz each question gives a diffrent answer think about it is it fast and smart like those in asian movies wich are like super man on steroids or slow and Dumm but in any case I would prefer a state of the art military super tank and a group of highly trained people
Great hub. I enjoyed reading it
Diving chainmail, armoured vehicle, a bunch of guns and ammo, some machetes, and a lighter and hairspray. Also travelling with friends is a good idea :)
I must agree with all who dislike the chainsaw, one because they are ridiculously heavy,and two because they are ridiculously noisy. I would stick with my hand pump ten round shotgun if im facing under twenty zombies because im a crack shot. but if im facing more than twenty id have to go with a SCAR. Best wishes for the apocolypse,
Zombie Expert Wayne Marcitello
Thinking...... What would i use to kill a zombie, hhmmmmm, a flamethrower seems good and some grenades, C4, acid. I would make a zombie trap since it would be the end of the world and people are dieing all around me anyway, I'll just find some people I really didn't like and befriend them, act like we're really cool and tell them I now a safe place and use these fools as bait, LMFAO!!!!!
Some funny stuff here dude. Great hub.
Oh, they are real, in fact just last week I had to fend off the undead hordes who smelled my beefy armpits, all I had in the house was a rusty screw driver to poke in their heads.....
um I actually heard dat zombies are real. but i dnt kno to believe it or not. great advice on killing zombies anyway. :)
When You Put It That Way I Have Got To Agree With Ben But I Would Definitely Visit A Local Hardware Store. Or Just A Walmart or a Mall Would Definitely Help Too!
Swords like katanas would work well on a few zombies, but just imagine be-heading a whole army of them, you'd eventually be ripped to pieces and then watch your intestines snapping like elastic!
your forgetting the mutated ones and some woint die with ehad blow's and im with katanas and sword all theway
This is great information for all of us Kinemortophobics out there such as myself haha
Watcha Wayne
:-)
best
Mick
Yes cheers for that, extra ammo is always a good idea!
if your going to kill tons of zombies make sure you have tons of amos and extra guns if run out of amos
Hahaha lol sorry daydreaming can be a problem cheers now and yes the hardware store would be a great place to get some zombie killing tools!
i used to work in a hardware store, and whenever I saw an item which was new, i always thought would it be useful in a zombie attack? i lost my job due to daydreaming too much.
sorry robertsloan2 but a chainsaw is one of the worst weapons for fighting zombies. heres why:
-They're heavy. A chainsaw can weigh up to, and in excess of ten pounds compared to a two pound machete
-Their fuel supply is finite. Once drained they provide as much protection as a hand held radio
-They're noisy. this noise will attract zombies
if fighting zombies an experienced hunter like myself may recommend a crowbar, trench spike or shaolin spade
if unsure ask yourself:
1. can it crush or decapitate a skull in one blow?
2. is it ligh?
3. is it durable?
Regards Ben
Though not necessarily evil, zombies are creatures that need to be eradicated. Although there are rare exceptions, zombies exhibit no brain function due to necrosis or natural decomposition and therefore cannot feel emotions. much like a virus, they exist only to consume and nothing else.
The exception i was talking about earlier was the 'nzumbe' this is where the word zombie originates. Nzumbe refers to the soul of the deceased and is the proper term for the voodoo zombie(perhaps the case with Xombie). although they may be similar, if you look closer they are different to true zombies:
-They show emotion. they may show anger, sadness or even smile, unlike a true zombie
-they feel pain. they may nurse a wound or even attemt to treat it, but unlike true zombies they wont ignore it
- they recognise fire. though not necessarily afraid of it they will often avoid it, unlike a true zombie
-they arent mindless killers.like a human, unless provoked, they dont show agression
-and they can be reasoned with
Basically if you are sure of a voodoo zombie, dont immediately kill it just let it pass.
if you need more info Max Brooks(a fellow hunter) has written a detailed guide called 'The Zombie Survival Guide'
regards Ben
PS. sorry to be a butthole :(
Cheers now!
Zombies are everywhere!
Useful information, you've definitely read the survival guide my friend.
Yes that'll do it kill the zombie!
a more funnier way to kill a zombie if you live in a apartment building and u live on the top floor trow the tv out the window and hope you hit the fucker on the head haha
Your welcome! spread the word!!
Thanks for the list. It is very helpful. I will make a list and post on fridge just in case.
Er yes snake eyes...!
I liked the Return of the Living Dead and the zombies were ace as they would say what they wanted and that was BRAINS!!!!!!!!
Cheers Jellydonut25
also, we need to hope that the zombies are not of the "Return of the Living Dead" variety since they were unkillable...still, at least they were pretty funny too...
Lets not forget to belch/fart while doing your best Al bundy on the couch impersonation.
I would chain them up and do some kinky stuff....ugh just kidding, no I would chain them up and do all the things they nagged me about in front of them, I'd throw my sockson the floor and leave them there for weeks,I'd leave hair in the sink,I'd eat my food whilst talking and I'd fart in their face and laugh!!!
So here's a question for you, you have an ex girlfreind of boyfreind that turns into a zombie.....now do you still respectuflly be-head them in an honerable fashion. Or do you take you anger out on them for always nagging to take out the trash when that oh so important game is on.....usually at the most pivitol moments to boot.
Cheers now Richard!!
Yes I've read your zombie survival guide, so cheers for the link back, I just think if we all know how to kill them, then we'll be ready for them when this Swine flu turns into a zombie virus!!
Nice job Waynet, I think I'll link to it from my Zombie survival guide. In my guide I outline how to survice the attack and not how to kill the Zombies...
Thanks Xomby for those common sense words of zombie killing wisdom...you heard it people, zombies are to be respected so chop off their heads with feeling!!!
This hub and the corrolating comments are rather offensive to us enslaved undead. It's not offensive due to the graphic nature by which you would dispose of said zombie (we do not fear death, we long for it), but rather because since death eludes us it dredges up feelings of isolated desperation. Loneliness is our only friend, and our Bokor will not allow us redemption. I therefore implore you, when killing your next zombie, do so with compassion and dignity because though we are not to be considered human, we were at one time. Sleep is wasted on the living.
Cheers now HC23!
Zombies are everywhere, so lets stop them!!
Ah read the Zombie Survival Guide people. Chainsaws are a no no. I love this article. I never thought to think that household furniture could be used.
Awesome hub, fun and well written. Please check out mine Waynet http://hubpages.com/hub/Killing-Zombies. Keep it up and again your writing style is cool.
nice post. you have to be you hit the right spot on the zombie. check it out.
Yes that's it sorted then, the marketing slogan is there!
glow in the dark zombie sticks sticks that move on their own arrrgghhrrr!!!
Yep that'll do it Bill, ground them into dust and make them into glue sticks and market them in a cool way, could be quite lucrative!
how to kill a zombie?hmmmmmm?lets see lets see how would I kill a Zombie?I guess the only way to truly kill a zombie is to cremate them burn them down to ashe.total destruction of their bodies if not they will keep coming and coming and coming......
i am a sci-fi, horror,action movie fan but i just haven't been able to get past cannibalism to enjoy zombie movies....great hub none the less
Light sabers would be cool if they actually had them, I'd be happily killing zombies with them all day and it would be great if as soon as you strike them down they just dissappear like obi wan kenobi after darth vader whacked him with a light saber!!
Oh yes I liked that game...! killing zombies could turn into an actual olympic event!!
lol, great hub, I ran a poll on another site to determine the best weapon for zombie slaying and the most popular choice was a 'light-saber', not sure where you'd find one in the event of a zombie outbreak though.
Not sure if you've played 'Left 4 Dead', but that's a great game for a bit of zombie slaying madness. =)
Great Zombie hub, I gave it a rate up, I am a big zombie fan too. I got a Zombie Movie Hub http://hubpages.com/hub/Best-Zombie-Movie , check it out and leave a comment, I'd like to know what you think.
Thanks Val
Current classics you have there and I call myself a horror film buff, especially the helicopter rotor blades slicing up some zombies or rage infected nutters, but the vinyl LP's and the winchester I should have remembered(but don't mention the Z word!)
Script for a zombie project?
Yeah Chainsaws, how could I forget this, or even a lawn mower from that classicly funny movie Braindead(loved that film!) oh yeah Return of the living dead was the main films for body parts that wouldn't die. cheers Robert for the chainsaws, can't believe I forgot that one!!
I think it's rather happily ironic that you would post this the day I got a script for a zombie project approved. There are a couple anti-zombie weapons you forgot, however. Helicopter rotors and vinyl LP's have proven effective against zombies. As for guns, well the best to take them out would of course be a... Winchester!
ROFLMAO!!! Love it. You forgot the ultimate classic though. Chainsaws are great against zombies, albeit leaving messy stinking rot splashing everywhere. Watch out for the kind where the pieces keep going after dismemberment too.
Yes we gotta prepare for zombie invasion and they'll have such reality show classics of their own like "I'm a zombie get me out of here" and "Zombies Kitchen"
We have to end this when the time comes...zombies bah! we know how to stop you!
Damn...that was on my list to write :)
You did a much better job than I could have, this is must-have information!
zombie101 7 days ago
we zombies are a peaceful beings the only reason we try to to eat you is cause(1)if we went shopping you would all be afraid of us and kill us in the store when we tried to buy something to eat(2)when we do eat anything else we end up throwing it back up and finally(3)your brains taste really good
p.s bbbbrrrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnssss